I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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