We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
