The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
