oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
