With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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