I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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