That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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