Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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