don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
