what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
