Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
