Bisexual people are plain selfish.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
