I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
