i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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