i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
