everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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