Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Life is so much better after having sex.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
