He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
