she was so not down for the gang bang
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
