I'm going to jail i love you
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
