Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I could make wine with my vomit
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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