Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize