Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize