That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
