jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
