Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
