my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
