Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
