Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
