I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
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how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
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all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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