Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
