So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
