god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
