cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
