i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
