What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
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I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
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I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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