So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
home. puking in laundry basket.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
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Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
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My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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