u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
