you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
