She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
