at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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