she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
