Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
