i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
