During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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