Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
