WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
