remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
