we have officially lost it.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
