well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Just pee around me
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
