i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Randomize
