i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
i think my cat just said my name.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
