how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Randomize
