Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Mom said you looked used
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
