when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
