Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
