her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
