Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
